My short and simple answer to the question would be that I decided to choose religious life because my heart moved toward it. The question brought me to reflect on the journey of my discernment. Discerning my vocation took me almost seven years. During the years, what I tried to do was to listen to the voice of God because I had the desire to respond to His call. I believed that it was God who planted this willingness of responding to his call in me. I was desperate to find out how God was calling me to live.
Along the journey, I learned that the desire deep in my heart was the voice of God. Then my journey shifted a bit to explore my deepest desire. Looking back my secular life, I had not been feeling fulfillment at work. As I was involved in the parish more and more, I was gradually losing interest in my career and my desire of doing God’s work got stronger and stronger. I wished to spend all my time for God instead of spending partial time outside of my job.
More importantly God took away fear that I had for choosing religious life. In the beginning of my discernment, I was not sure if I could let go of all my possessions, career and relationships with my family and friends. However, gracious and wonderful God answered to my prayer of offering my fear to him and moved my heart.
Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth, vanity of vanities! All things are vanity! (Eccl 1,2) The scripture granted me wisdom to see what is beyond the worldly. It took away my fear and my heart was filled with joy and peace. The move of my heart was the biggest clarity that was strong enough to confirm that God has called me to religious life. I believed that religious life would bring me the true happiness that would be not worldly happiness, but the happiness that would be brought by responding to God’s call.
Ji Choi, Candidate, Sisters of Bon Secours